you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
