he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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