Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
