How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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