Christians are straight up FREAKS
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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