What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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