I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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