dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
