we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
