Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
