So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My penis needs a shock collar
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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