just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
