WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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