Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
