where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
