Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So much Jack, so little girl.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
