I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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