I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
