you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
