Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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