I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
