oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
