somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
