Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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