party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
