somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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