Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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