it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
