Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
