so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
