I don't think brook has ever known best
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
