Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
