K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
