I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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