All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Your penis caused this!
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