loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
