So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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