people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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