How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
