im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize