Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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