hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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