Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
