We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize