Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
