college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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