Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
