you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
