I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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