Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
