why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
