I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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