I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
