my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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