What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize