Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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