This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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