make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
